I really hope the majority of the drama is over. Had a serious talk with CH, things got mostly resolved and I mostly feel better. It’s going to take some time to get over it completely because feelings were hurt. But I’m glad we did it and it’s good to …
Where to begin. The Easter USA talks did not go over very well. Questions arose which made me decide to tell them all about me and N. Suddenly, the USA thing was forgotten and hours were spent on them yelling, calling me names and just really coming down hard on …
The days have been going by slowly. It’s been 3 weeks since I left my other half. 3 weeks that somehow feel like 3 months. The past couple of days have been fairly quiet thank God. There’s been some awkwardness and crap on and off, but still better, a feeling of …
I don’t really know what the overwhelming/most common feeling is these days. It fluctuates too much, too wildly. Conversations are ongoing, good and bad. Yesterday we talked more about the first date with Magdalena and how it went, how it felt, what happened. It seems that it was pretty much …
Almost 8 years…over. Done. We talked and talked, back and forth, trying to figure out what’s going on, why things are so fucked up and ended up realizing for the first time (me, not him) that our relationship hasn’t been a relationship for the past 2 years. At least. He had noticed …
7PM. Should be interesting. Life seems pretty good for N nowadays. Life for me is still mostly in the gutter. No change. A lot of weirdness, talking/non-talking with K the past few days. Almost fighting. I don’t like it at all. But we’ll pull through. I need change. I need …
Woke up at midnight. He didn’t even think to wake me up. I was so shocked and upset that I cried for like 10 minutes straight. The rest of the day – utter bullshit. I should have stayed in bed. A mess of feeling shitty, infecting K, ending it in tears. …
I can no longer tell if this exhaustion is purely due to the emotional state lately or if it’s the telltale fatigue returning. Sleep is weird, inadequate, not restful. Hopefully it’s resolved soon. A brief mention of the wanting to move to the US today where N was surprised at …
Things are still messy. I don’t see that changing drastically until things change drastically. I’m still sad/down mostly but at least there are a few moments of normal here and there.
Some good news today: N finally got a job. About damn time. Crappy pay but still better than where he’s at now. He’s nervous but excited to start on April 4. I’m very happy for him, he needs this.
Oh apparently there is also a woman of interest on Tinder. Very exciting to see where that goes.
Today has been… I don’t even know what. I’ve been exhausted all day. Mom has been calling because she’s worried about me being tired from antihistamines. Even though she knows they make you tired. Apparently my health still freaks her out. I don’t think that’s ever going to change. Anyway, I woke …